I love my mom

Okey, whatever people gonna say. I'm just gonna say this though. I love my mom! I miss her although she has just went out for 3 days outstation this morning. It was like, without her I had nothing. Nothing to do, like no one to talk with, no one to hug with, no one for me to tell jokes. Everything. I eat alone, I sleep alone, laying down on the bed alone. I feel blank.

This day, I just laid down on her bed. Watching television which is beside the bed. Took a long nap. And just imagine that she's beside me. Talking. Laughing together. She's been through so many thing. First with her children, I meant us. We got her troubles in her life non-stop. Bad attitudes. Inappropriate behaviors to adults, relatives, or people who come to our house. We made her embarrassed by our inappropriate. Everything. Me messed her life so much.

But she still loves us. We sulk a lot. It's like a must for us do that once in two months. I'm sorry. We're sorry mom. I think it's best for you to take a rest there, though it's for job duty. She went there for some course she should take along with the principal of school. Yes, she's a teacher there. She used to be a mathematics teacher, a discipline teacher. Now we've moved, she's been upped to a new level. Hmmm, in Malay it's Penolong Kanan. But since then, she's been busy with her work every single time. Once, she had to bring the school's personal computer (PC) to do her work in her bedroom. She'd been up all the night arranging the school schedule for each classes, every teachers. Plus for the whole year schedule.

Recently, she always locked herself in her bedroom. I'm afraid she would do something stupid. But I won't say it though it's human nature to think of ridiculous things. It's worrying seeing our mom in sadness. But she won't share her problems to me. To everyone in our family. None. This really makes me worried about her. I'm not happy though now I can be categorized being a lucky person because I got into university since 4 months ago. A week before I finished the first semester, I had to go back to my hostel to take some stupid exams. Before I went back to hostel, there were some misunderstanding between my mom and dad.

This started when my dad fasting for that day. For the dinner, my mom re-heat the foods she cooked for the lunch. I was there when my dad asked me what was I doing. I said I was heating the lunch. Maybe he was hoping new dinner cooked especially for him. Then, he just walked outside, start the engine car and went off. He ate outside that night. After 30 minutes, my mom asked me where was my dad? I said he might be eating outside. My mom's face instantly changed and said, "I cooked very hard, then you eat outside".

At that night, as usual, I opened the door after knowing my dad had back home. I expected nothing unusual about my dad. Shook and kissed his hands. And he walked off to the living room. At that time, my mom locked the door. She didn't know that my dad had back home. So, I just sat back in front of television. Suddenly, I heard a sound like a door being smashed, or kicked or whatever. It was my dad kicking the door.

I screamed for my mom's name. Instantly, my mom opened the door. Yet, my dad fiercely grabbed ang pulled my mom's hair and pushed her head towards the bed. I was shocked by my dad's behaviour. I never seen him like that. Never seen him beating my mom. Never. From that time, I hate my dad.

It's just why need to pull off your expressions physically?It might give you such a relief but it hurts the others. Gah. This is an endless issue. I might be talking about this in another blog entry. I might but no promise. I feel better expressing my feeling through this blog though it brings nothing actually in my life. Just want to fill up my time.

Another worse day

So bored. Imma talk about what happened today. I got up at 2 pm. Still sleepy though and just laying on my bed for another hour. Listening the crowdness downstairs from my sister’s bedroom. Yeah, I slept in my sissy’s room. She’s in other state working as a teacher and gonna back home I guess next month for her upcoming wedding day.

Back to the story, actually today we’re having open house. Everyone was busy cleaning and preparing the food. They got up at 6 am I supposed. Mopping the floor cleaning what-so-ever they can. Oh.. girls. That’s their job anyway. Plus, the purpose of having open house today because of my elder sister said so. She invites her friends and, her boyfriend. She introduced for the first time her boyfriend to my family. Unluckily my dad wasn’t here. I had no idea where he was. He always like that. He won’t even be at home 3 days straight. Never! I hate him. Gah.

Whatever, yeah. Everyone was busy. Me just sleeping. Although people started fulling my house, I was still on my bed. My eyes were still closed. Blanket still covering me though it was damn hot! I think it was 4 pm I started to get up. Walking to bathroom to take a shower. I couldn’t stay still hearing my kitties meowing, crying for my help, I guess. The kids who came to my house keep holding them and aargh, ionno what they were doing to my kitties. The thing is, I hate strangers holding my cats without mah permission. Very prohibited. lol

Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, walking to the bathroom with my oily face, messy hair, odored smelly body. The fact is, I bath once a day, everyday. I’m so lazy to take a bath. It’s damn cold. Haha. No it’s not. It’s just me being a lazy girl. So after finished bathing, I chose what to wear today. My pants…. meh, imma wear yesterday’s. My t-shirt, searching under the whole pile of unfolded clothes in the wardrobe. Yeah, found one. Blue color with stripes on it.

With the hungriness I felt. I hold it. It was just that I hate meeting people. ‘Full of mouths’. They just gonna say everything they say. The time I’ve finished bathing, there was my aunt’s family there. They came on purpose after knowing that my sister’s boyfriends gonna come. What a busybody. And, they’re the one who’ll tell whole of our relatives about that. “Oh, you knew that her boyfriend came? Very handsome… bla bla bla.. ” what-so-ever.

So, I just went to my another sister’s room and opened the computer, got online. Opened the regular sites I’ve been sticking with for months. Yeah, when I’m addicted to something, I’ll stick to it for a long time. But the windows were opened and a bunch of kids were outside torturing my cats. Actually it’s not that ‘torturing’. They were just holding my kitties saying, “Oh so cute, so fluffy!”. But I hate it, so much. Oh well, kept on doing my things, ignoring the stupid kids.

After an hour or so, I heard nothing, just silent. So I guess those people have gone. And I went downstairs. But no. There was a couple there. One holding a plate eating satay, our local food. And one just gazing at him. She’s my sister by the way, and her boyfriend. For the first time I saw the real him in front of me. Before this, I just saw his face through my sister’s phone, peeking ‘illegally’ at his photos. Hmm, he was quite tall. Good looking. And blah. Why should I care of. Me, myself still hasn’t have the Mr. X . Still young ;p nah, I’m not interested actually with this coupling butterfly thingy.

I took about 10 satays and ate in front of tv, ignoring the lovely couple, watching Hannah Montana on Disney Channel. Yeah, I won’t lie. I like watching kids programs. I’m proud to be one of the Pokemon fans. haha. Thank God, I’ve fulled my stomach after hours holding the hungriness. Oh well, it give me benefits too. My stomach became a little flat than it was. I had a bad habit. Whenever I eat, I’ll sleep instantly after that. It feels ‘gewd’. No wonder my stomach is big and round like a balloon stucks under my shirt.

Hmm, so that’s it I guess. Imma check my emails or chatting. My email has nothing but full of spams though. In just a few days, I’ll got like hundreds of spammed emails. What sites did I went? Hmmm. Oh well, Imma go chatting ftw! I’ve been friend with a husband and a wife from Indonesia. And it’s fun talkin with them. They already got two children. The oldest is already 6 years old. :)

Why need to make boundaries between Malaysian and Indonesian?

-This is the copy-pasted article from my original blog at myspace-

Saya terdorong untuk menulis blog ini apabila saya mulai merasa jurang antara malaysian dan indonesian. Saya masih baru lagi dengan myspace ini tapi saya berjaya menambah kawan dengan banyak. Bukan untuk menambah populariti ataupun sekadar perhiasan. Tapi untuk cuba bergaul dengan orang yang pelbagai ragam kerana saya bukanlah orang yang suka bergaul di luar. Jadi saya ambil kesempatan dengan kemajuan yang ada untuk cuba bergaul.

Hati saya terasa bila seorang dua rakan indonesia tidak menghiraukan mesej saya, mahupun untuk menjawab salam saya. Sebabnya jelas terpapar di headline mereka. Katanya, “Di mohon y ,org malaysia ga usah add gue. Gue ga suka org malaysia ,aneh kaia andika (kangen band)”

Kenapa perlu meletakkan jurang antara malaysia dan indonesia? Padahal kita sebagai anak melayu, seorang muslim bersama-sama kita di bawah satu agama yaitu Islam! Apakah ini kita panggil melayu? Islam? Yang selama ini kita agung-agungkan merapatkan silaturahim kononnya?! Tidak akan diterima kita oleh Nabi Muhammad s.a.w jika kita berterusan untuk bermusuhan.

Kenapa perlu membenci malaysia? sedangkan ramai rakyat mu mencari rezeki di malaysia? sekiranya indonesia lbh unggul, kenapa tidak menyediakan peluang pekerjaan yg cukup untuk rakyat nya? kami tidak ingin bertegang leher mengagungkan negara masing2..kitakan bangsa serumpun, tidak enak rasanya untuk benci-membenci sesama sendiri..sikap saudara/saudari ternyata membuktikan saudara/saudari ialah satu bangsa yg tidak tahu bertetangga,bertujuan memecah belahkan tali silaturrahim sesama kita..tiada gunanya..malaysia sgt indah, seperti juga indonesia..masing2 punyai keistimewaan, kelebihan..=)

kami kebanyakan rakyat Malaysia pun sebenarnya tidak ingin menjadi musuh kepada Indonesia. tentang perihal siapa mula dahulu ini tidak mungkin dapat dijelaskan kerana rasanya keadaan ini telah berterusan sejak dahulu lagi.

namun pada pandangan saya, rasanya semua ini terjadi gara-gara pengaruh media massa di kedua-dua negara. Media massa di negara ini selalu melaporkan tentang masalah-masalah jenayah yang disebabkan oleh Pendatang Asing Tanpa Izin (PATI) yang rata-ratanya terdiri daripada warga Philippine dan Indonesia sendiri.

Apabila rakyat membaca berita tentang jenayah ini sudah tentu rakyat di sini tidak senang dengan kehadiran warga PATI. namun apabila berita ini terbesar ke Indonesia lain pula perkara yang dilaporkan.

Kami tidak tahu bagaimanakah media massa Indonesia mengambarkan keadaan di Malaysia namun adalah patut untuk kedua-dua pihak untuk saling bertoleransi dan berkompromi sebelum kemeluk kedua negara ini membara dengan lebih teruk lagi

Maaf ya kalau blog ini menyentuh isu-isu sensitif antara kedua-dua belah pihak sama ada malaysia mahupun indonesia. Tujuan saya menulis ini adalah untuk mengetahui persepsi indonesian terhadap malaysia dan juga sebaliknya. Diharap kalian bersikap terbuka menerima kritikan sama ada yang baik mahupun sebaliknya kerana niat saya untuk meleraikan segala kekusutan yang ada dan mengeratkan silaturahim sesama kita.